


Selected Excerpts from Tony's Livejournal

by gala_apples



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Blogging, Fandom, Multi, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five conversations fandom wouldn't believe Tony Stark had about fandom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selected Excerpts from Tony's Livejournal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kalakirya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalakirya/gifts).



2012-08-30 17:25:00  
I don’t know how many times I have to say it. This isn’t an RP journal. Stop telling me I’m OOC. It’s annoying as hell. Remember, JARVIS knows where you live.

 

2012-08-30 18:16:00  
For the unspecified future, comments will be turned off. I’ve decided it’s a waste of my considerably valuable time to fight with trolls. But for the record? Suck it. I’m a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist with a Livejournal. Deal with it.

 

2012-09-03 11:20:00  
So Clint, apparently, ships Wincest. Which is fucking hilarious to me.

See, I thought he was just watching Supernatural for the cars and guns. Because Clint’s a manly man, and that’s what he should be into. Anyway, that’s my sum knowledge about the show; two brothers have a great car and they shoot salt at things.

I came into Clint’s apartment the other day, minding my own business. Literally, the goings on of my tower are my business, and anyone that says I’m snoopy can live somewhere that’s not My Tower. Clint was shouting at the screen. Specifically, shouting ‘go away no one likes you’ at the guy with wings.

Being a man of a curious nature I sat down and asked him who the guy was, and why no one liked him. That’s when I got a surprize twenty minute lecture on how Castiel is this guy who converted fandom from the pure true love that is Wincest to shipping stupid Castiel with stupid Dean. That Wincest used to be so clear and obvious. Apparently at some point Supernatural went meta, and inside that universe there was a prophet writing Sam and Dean’s life story and that story had a fandom and everyone shipped story!Sam and story!Dean. And then Castiel said that prophet died, and now everyone ships Dean with this guy who basically mindrapes his host.

I didn’t divert Clint by asking if he shipped guys because he ships guys sometimes -kind of a weird thing for an ultramanly man-, or because there’s just no women to ship on the show. Me. Leave something alone. Rhodey’d be proud. I could have, in the mood he was in he could have argued for ages, but I didn’t. Which left me trying to pay attention. I really did try. But at the thirty minute mark a guy has to either will himself into deafness or politely leave the room. So I actually answered one of the calls from the board that I’d been ignoring for a week or so -if it’s really important, Pepper’d let me know- and bowed out gracefully.

Note to self- send Clint a link to the Incest Yay Shipping trope on tvtropes. Maybe he can find a fandom that doesn’t betray him.

 

2012-09-10 23:58:00  
How many times have I told Bruce he’s a god among insects? Okay, maybe I didn’t use those exact words. But I am definitely on team Give Bruce Some Self Esteem. I am varsity quarterback on team Give Bruce Some Self Esteem. Or cheerleader, if you prefer my shapely legs. Which leads me to one of two terrifying conclusions. Either no one listens to me and I’m speaking into the ether, or my awesome lovingly handcrafted suit looks as tacky as a purple helmet.

What brings this up, you ask? I walked in on Bruce watching the second of the XMen films (the prequels don’t count). It was near the end, just as Pyro is joining Magneto and Mystique on the stolen helicopter. He said who wouldn’t join the first person to tell you you’re a god among insects? And he was _wistful_.

So tell me, does he not know how we feel? Or am I just the self-serving Magneto that said it first? If it’s the first it’s time to throw down the love gauntlet and beat him with it. And if it’s the second- Fuck. It would be great if Bruce wasn’t another Cap and I my father. The Starks have had a long enough history of emotional manipulation for the ‘greater good’.

And as a side note, man does observing him watching that make me want to set up a series of tests. You’d think the government rudely storming in and kidnapping and torturing innocent people would be a trigger for the green ragey side of him. And yet nothing. Maybe I should poke him with something sharper than last time.

 

2012-09-15 18:42:00  
A shocking truth for you: just because they live in my tower doesn’t mean I spy on them. I don’t. Not usually. But sometimes I’m alerted to goings on, and it would be irresponsible of me as a host to not learn more. A socialite needs his information.

As soon as I found out Natasha grew up in Russia I changed the language settings for her room’s technology to Russian. To be honest, I figured she’d immediately change it back. Not because she lost enough of it over the years to not want her important equipment in a language she only remembers verbs and nouns of- if there’s anything Natasha doesn’t do it’s lose information. She’s just not the type to accept favours. But she kept it.

About twenty minutes ago JARVIS was doing some maintenance on third party devices and let me know the language display on Natasha’s Kindle was on the fritz. That’s what you get for not using a Starkpad. I investigated. As it turns out she A) knows about sixty languages. B) is pretentious and reads books only in their original publication language. C) Can speed read. D) was reading Order the Phoenix.

As I was about to leave -you never know when you’re going to get stabbed in the neck- she asked the question of the 2000’s.

Each generation has its own personality quiz question. Who’s your favourite Beatle? Who’s your favourite New Kid? All around the world now people are arguing about what Avenger is the best. There’s no right answer, it’s a pop culture enneagram. The interesting part is when you’re sure your friend likes Simmons best, but they actually like the cat whisker drummer and you stare at them and wonder if you really know anything about your best friend.

“What house would you be in?”

Frankly, it’s obvious. Bruce and I are Ravenclaw, Cap is Hufflepuff, Clint and Natasha and Thor are all Gryffindor. Natasha thinks we’re all Slytherin. I guess there’s some ambition in wanting to save the world, but we still all do it on our own House’s ways. Then she said we all have the ambition to be happy. And the way she said it...it felt like she was referencing something and I was too stupid to get it. And that is a shitty feeling for a _definitely Ravenclaw_ man to have.

 

2012-09-29 11:30:00  
Currently torn between >:( and :DDD

>:( because this is exactly what happens when I go to a board meeting like Pepper wants. I miss all the good things in life. I bet the next time I have to go to a board meeting some lucky scientist invents time travel. The non-cryogenic kind.

:DDD because if I’d been there I might have interrupted what is quite possibly the best stream of texts in my life.

Steve follows his own press. I’m sure it comes from his time as a USO girl. What’s more, he won’t let JARVIS compile it for him, he likes following his own links. For a Capsicle, he’s surprisingly adept with the internet. What he does do -possibly out of spite, don’t know, don’t mind- is send me rhetorical questions he fully intends to figure out without help. Anything I text back is strictly for my own enjoyment.

Have a transcription of today’s:

-What’s My Chemical Romance?  
-Why is a band being asked questions about us?  
-What’s fourth wall?  
-Why are all these fans getting upset about fourth wall?  
-Is stage gay gay theatre?  
-Why would a recording of two men kissing have so many views?  
-Is Frerard a online acronym like Roflcopter?  
-What’s RPS?  
-Did you know there’s Avengers RPS?

Let me tell you, when I finally had a chance to read through the spam of texts I just about died. And then I asked JARVIS how such a beautiful thing had happened. A summary, if you don’t follow that fandom. My Chem was doing an interview of the ‘fans as the questions’ variety, and got asked what their top three stage gay moments would be. Not necessarily for sexiness, but to make a point the way they did at Download. The one with the tattoos said me, the one with the hair said Freddie Mercury, and the one with the neck said John Cena. Proud out rockstars, a little less homophobia in the world’s redneckiest sport, and me. Good company I’m in.

For the record- fan speculation vs tabloid; they’re both equally realistic about what I do. I couldn’t care less. And I wonder if Steve doesn’t. There was no text about how to get fic taken down, Ann Rice style, so maybe.

 

2012-10-14 1:17:00  
The best thing about living with an alien god is all the Your World Is Not Like My World surprises. As I’m sure everyone knows, I have a low tolerance for boredom. Thor has a low threshold for acting Earth normal. It works out very well. Generally speaking. And when it doesn’t, that’s what Pepper and Coulson are for.

I really wasn’t expecting him to get into the heist genre. I knew better than to think Braveheart-esque epics. He looks the type, but watching huge battles would probably cause as much regret as watching Das Boot with Steve would. But Ocean’s 11? Didn’t see that one coming. And I pretty much blew his mind with the concept of a sequel. Apparently sequels aren’t a thing on Asgard.

From there it just spiralled. 21, The Score, Breakout Kings- anything that had criminals with hearts of gold was put in the queue. (Issues showing much?) I kept a recording of Thor watching Inception, and if I ever go bankrupt I’ll sell it. It’ll do better than A Night In Paris.

Surprises begat surprises with him. I checked up on him this morning, after JARVIS informed me he’d started a marathon of Leverage and hadn’t left his room in thirty six hours. I wasn’t going to tell him to stop. Hypocritical move, when you look at my workshop hours. I just wanted to see if he needed a sandwich. A two liter of Pepsi, maybe.

Went in to check up, came out a new man. Because when I sat down it became increasingly obvious Thor was watching as a shipper. It was too interesting to walk away from.

It took me a minute to log the characters: Nate- complicated history, in love with Sophie. Sophie- great actress, in love back. Both parents for the younger generation of con artists. Parker- blonde, crazy, supposed to be in love with Hardison. Hardison- hacker, supposed to be in love back. Eliot- muscle guy, unattached. It didn’t take much longer to agree with Thor; Eliot and Hardison and Parker made a better trio. The instant I agreed he started shouting in that weird ernst way he has about how the Avengers, too, would benefit from a relationship like that.

It’s easy to ignore Thor when he’s being crazy, to chalk it up to Your World Is Not My World. But I think this is what Natasha was talking about. And for possibly the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do next.

 

2012-10-14 2:29:00  
Okay. Comments are back on. I need recs for good books or movies or shows with poly, or characters that are easy to imagine as poly that I can get them to read and get fannish about. And anyone that says Stranger In A Strange Land is getting unfriended. Between the cults and cannibalism, noooo, it’s the opposite of what I want, to quote Hyperbole and a Half.


End file.
